Nine to Five

i dont want to work monday though friday
nine to five
i dont want to come home from work
and turn on the tv to see sad news stories...
i want to be the one....
the one who when you come home from your
nine to five
that you see when you turn on the tv
and i want to bring you happiness.
i want to make a difference
folding shirts won't change the world.

The Wish Flower

Everytime i find one of those flowers(i call them wish flowers)...the picture of the flower on my blog page; i pick it up, close my eyes make a wish and blow....i watch the petals magically fly through the air. as though i am sending my energy everywhere.
this morning i woke up.....so happy....
i found to wishes in my hair :)

L O V E

With her walker in hand she stops; "everytime i pass by you i feel this peace radiating eminating from you; its so wierd"....it gives me goosebumps...
thats not the first time i have heard that.....but it wasn't until recently....
 i said the same thing to him as he massaged my body knowing exactly how to heal me; "how are you so peaceful?"
I was enlightend that evening with David Starfire's magic music in the air.
It was like re-learning something i already knew....
i was inspired
we are all mirrors of one another.
my senses are now more awakend then ever before in my life.
yet i feel more calm then ever before.
i take my sage and cleanse my body....watching the smoke fill the air
i think about all those times we would clean each other...smoke so thick
blocking us from the outside world.
and i sit back and laugh to myself. there is actually someone in the middle of the ocean; in the middle of the jungle, in the middle of no where thinking about me. and i am thinking about them. and through all the crazy radio, television signals in the air. through the buildings and the clouds....we connect. always. and forever.
the wind. the wind! the wind the wind the wind! as i type those words, she opens my mothers bedroom door, as though she knows i am talking about them.
l
o
v
e
.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=HpLieZHP3dA

Rainbow Filled the Sky

Well I woke up this morning....rainbow filled the sky.....
and that was god telling me...everything is gonna be alright.......
i miss you and your hoola hoop.....
circling around my body....up and down.....
over my knees...my waist...my chest....
spinning around my neck.....
everyday i sit here and miss something......a land far far away....
somewhere over the rainbow
the sun breaks through the clouds as i type this.
she is always with me.
at my last massage she told me "the moon is always there even if you can't see it"
everyday since then i have seen a rainbow....she loved rainbow's too....
what does this all mean?
i hate to say it but i never felt this way when i was there...never thought about oil poluted waters the way i think about beautiful beaches and jungly jungles....how i yearn to be in peace...
somewhere over the rainbow

Lip Stain

PosieTint Lip Stain,  Feathered Earings, EZ Widers and Gold Glitters. You asked me where i see myself in 6 months. I dont know where i will be tomorrow. At least i was honest. I like that. You like that. But where do i want to be? Good question. I actually like what happend. The order in the chaos. Entropy.
Mother wind has been talking to me all day. So loud that she actually hit my moms car door onto another car. What are you trying to tell me. You all ask me the same questions; but i don't know the answer. I like where I am. Lost amongst the colors of the green grass, 500 shades of green dance and sing with mother earths ring.
Dearest Moon,
please come out and play.
Things i miss about you:
1.the way you shine so brightly while looking at me
2. the way you smile down upon me
3. the way you make me feel
i know you must go through your phases, but i feel your gravity pulling me soon...
Always answers to orders of others. i must go.or not. screaming. Chaos. digging into my core. making me physically sick.
p.s.- please come out soon!
ugh.

Paradise Circus

When i heard those words in the crowded batrhoom stall watching my friend point her finger practically in some poor strangers face; thats when i knew it was only gonna get better. I had that funny feeling all day, like something was gonna happen. I can't believe there are people getting paid 30,000 dollars an episode for this; with millions of viewers. Jersey Shore is my life. We danced around the floor till 3am, getting thrown around by boys like a pinball. Thats when i saw her crying. "My wallet is gone". and then i heard the laughter. we all looked but no one could find it so late, and thats when things boiled in the hate. "you tall lesbian bitch i know you want me" the words went back and forth for minutes. clearing each others thoughts louder and louder. "i am gonna strangle you by your long blonde hair". i can't believe i was stuck in a taxi fight. i swear i watched this on tv last week. nothing but love.  she jumped out of the car with her hands like claws and we went inside and hung out for a while. she slamed and locked her door, dancing in the devils smile. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jEgX64n3T7g
but we like it when we are spinning in his grin.......

He's not the Right one. He's part of the Many.

She died about a week ago this time last year. Never getting to see the next Jew Year. As she laid in her hospital bed, she handed me her neclace and said:
"you will find the right one, i know it in my heart it will be soon"... the next day i "met" someone the next day around noon. we woke up on the living room floor and looked into others eyes...."who are you?" "who are you?" what a lovely suprise.
she just wanted me to be happy. that what she was waiting for. before she can go explore the unknown, or have we all seen this before?
You saved in my dreams last night. I dont know how that car is still running. A true maui cruiser. A car that can hold up to 14 people or more. Reminding me. There isn't just one. There isn't 3. There are so many people that i love. that love me. all over the world. a big family.
I can't help to think but maybe there isn't the right one. Because i found the right many. <3

Broken Heart Start

I read your blog, and this is how it starts. Now i am sitting here with a broken heart. You wanna to free express and undress, caring about nothing but whats best.....for you. Free expression of  words makes me anger in rage, energy so intense it froze my facebook page. I am not about ryhmes or times. So tell me again, how many girls does it take to cure a broken heart? One from the club, minus 3 kisses and a chat on skype to a girl far apart? divide that in three by the number of times you lied. then multiple that by the times you cried. you said i knew. and i always did. yes i always give in. i have some high hopes . life is a fairy tail and i am pocohontas. well guess what mr. smith? i need to stay with my people. the ones that love me. if life is about love, and you know its all around...what are you constantly searching for? hasn't it already been found? a walking contradiction.