Spirals 3/21

 I am not a fan of this writing but i don't get rid of anything i write:

My Life is like those spirals i have drawn on my notebook for years....
spiraling in and out....

6 months ago my mom and my dad was in the hospital...
5 months ago i lost my job and went to boston
found out i got a new job the day i came home
5 months ago i was hanging out with the 187 crew

a few weeks ago....my mom and dad were in the hospital
i lost my job and went to boston
found out i got a new job the day i came home
and hung out with the 187 crew....

these intricate patterns seem to take theme to my life...
the same lessons are being taught over and over to me
it hurts my brain to even process the mathimatical calculations of this pattern that i can't even write anymore honestly.......

Love on Paper

From the minute i was able to put a pen in my hand i began to write her letters...
the letter i left her the day before she died was on her bedside...
probably one of the last things she ever read...
my love on paper....

tears drip unto my typing fingers and an easing sadness takes over my body...
words jumping in my head, a lump in my throat, my eyes blurry....

it breaks my heart to see this pain all around me
and with all the power i have, i can't do anything to control it.
out of
con trol
.chaos.

tsunami waves flood the shorelines wrecking years, decades, lives that have been
built. in one second. it was over.

and it breaks my heart to see all this pain around me
and with all this power i have, i can't do anything to control it....she is stronger; mother nature. the universe.
out of 
con trol
.chaos.

go with it. swim with the tides of the ocean and see where it takes you.
since you can't control it you might as well enjoy it.

but what do you do...my question is when not everyone is as happy as you?

a different pen, but the same heart....
in my letters i wrote out of love...
love from the very start.